Sorry....

So I have realized I have not been updating this blog, but I have a renewed drive to continue you on this journey of Study.

I have promised multiple people in the past weekend that I would work on this blog and I plan to keep that promise so look for updates in the next few days and lets see where the Lord can take me.

Love you all!
Courtney

Church v. The Gym

Man life has been crazy. Between school and life I have been going a million miles a minute and so I am sorry I haven't posted in a while.

So today's idea comes from this little image

Not going to lie....I have thought this on numerous occasions at the gym. I look around and see all the perfect bodies that are working out and I just stare and think that they don't need the gym so why keep coming. But then it hits me, these people need to constantly go to the gym to keep the body they have. We work so hard to get the body but then slack off when it comes to keeping in shape. We spend months and years losing weight and getting toned up but the moment we hit our goal we go back to the way we were before.

But Courtney what does this have to do with the church?

Simple we as Christians do the same thing. We go to church and workout to perfect that perfect spiritual body. We work so hard to be the perfect Christian, especially in times of hardship. And once we reach what we think is the life of a perfect Christian, but then we stop. We stop going to church every Sunday, we stop giving time and effort to showing the light of Christ in the world. But shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't we like the people working out, continue to maintain the life and the "body" that we worked so hard to create?

Our spiritual body is just as important as our physical bodies. We have to take care of our spiritual body, we have to maintain and strengthen it. In order to maintain we can do many things. We can continue to go to church, study the word, study where God is in our lives. And then this amazing thing happens. As we strengthen our spiritual body, we become capable of so much more. We gain the strength and the ability to do anything with the help of God in our lives. And isn't that awesome?! We are able to train with Christ and become soldiers in his army, we are able to go out in the world and show his love and his healing hands to all that need it.

So why wouldn't we want to continue to workout and keep up with our spiritual bodies? Let's be those people that ask why we continue to go to church when we look as if we don't need it. Let's be the bodybuilders in the church, with the muscle and strength of many. But even more, let's be the great examples of how to live in the life of Christ. Like a personal trainer to the trainee let's help others get to where we are.

So go out and workout with Christ!!!

After all- I can do anything with Christ who strengthens me.

Of A Child Like Faith....

As I come to my last week in pediatric clinical, I am almost awe struck. You see this clinical has not only opened my eyes to what I want to do for my career, it has also opened my eyes to the wonder the is a child's mind. 

You see a child is blessed with not only a giant imagination but also they are open in the fact that they have no boundaries. There kids aren't limited by the norm in life, they are so filled with curiosity that they know no limits. How many nurses can have an interaction with a patient in which the patient states that the IV pump is angry (she said this because is was beeping stating that the fluids had gone in). When asked why it was angry she stated that it wanted to be a toaster, not a machine in a hospital. This is one of the many times that I or others have had to look at the world through a child's eyes. But it made me start asking, what if we never grew out of looking at the world like that of a child? 

Children have no limits. They are constantly learning and taking new things in, and that spreads to their relationship with Christ. People think that you can't learn much from Children when trying to continue to grow in faith but I see the opposite. I see a world in which you can learn more from children then adults sometimes. 

Kids don't judge others, they are more then willing to help someone (how many times have you received goldfish from a child all because you asked nicely), they rarely know a stranger. Children obey what the parents say, yes occasionally there are some disagreements but for the most part the child wants to please the parents. They are the perfect "adult" in someways, all because they don't feel like the world owes them something. 

“I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Mark 10:15)

We are told to be like child to God, to have a child like faith in order to get to heaven. To me that doesn't mean we have to be oblivious to the world like children sometimes are, but we do have to have the love and curiosity that kids live with every day. We have to believe in God and Jesus the way children thrive on the believe of Santa or the Tooth Fairy, we have to fight tooth and nail to keep those believes alive even when older kids tell us it isn't real. We have to see the world in a different way, we have to see the IV pump as wanting to be a toaster. 

There was a recent Nooma video by Rob Bell that I had watched. It talked about how Rob went for a walk with his son when a sudden rain storm hit, the child began to scream because all he knew at the time was the storm, all he heard was the storm and the rain hitting his head. The thing was he was never alone, Rob was there the entire time, and he was constantly there protecting his son from the storm. Isn't that us? How many times are we that infant, confused and scared about what is going on around us and forgetting that we aren't alone. But sometimes that is part of having a child's faith, sometimes we just have to know and believe that our Father will not leave us in the storm, won't abandon us in a time of need. 

An even better example of a child's faith comes in the form of summer swimming. As a child, do you ever remember standing on the side of a pool staring at your Mom or Dad, who are in the middle of the pool telling you to jump. They keep telling you that if you jump they will catch you. Well as a child did you ever remember that jump being one that was life or death. You had to trust that your parent would catch you. You finally jump and sure enough they catch you.....not only did they catch you but you decided that it was fun so you get out of the pool and do it again and again. Isn't that the same as trusting God, letting God catch you as you jump into the pool of life. He won't let you drown, if anything we will help you see more to life then you could ever see sitting by the side of the pool. 

So I dare you, jump into the pool. I dare you to live like a child in a would of adults. Have the faith of a child and love what occurs when you start liking like a child and having child-like faith. Live by the words "of a child-like faith and of an honest praise of my unashamed love!" 

God loves a Girl with Tattoos.

Your body is a temple.....so let's decorate it!!!

A few years ago, I was sitting at a women's retreat with my mom. Now the theme for the weekend was You Are Beautiful. Also as I do about this remember that at this retreat I think I was the youngest there by almost 10 years (my then sister in law helped). During on of the discussions one of the ladies began talking about how she didn't understand Tattoos and the generation that I belong to thinking that they have to have tattoos. As I sat there listening to this lady, my mother looked at me the way any mother could. The look at said, "I know what you are thinking." And she was right.

You see, at that time I was up to four tattoos, none of them small and I had another one planned, I just had to have the money for it. But, I have a tendency to cover my tattoos when I am in a situation where I don't know how people will handle them, a great example of these times would be at women's retreats with a bunch of old ladies. I am one that loves me tattoos....I just don't want the first impression to be focused on my tattoos. So as the lady continued on were little discussion, I sat there thinking, "she just doesn't understand it." Well have a few more ladies jumped in and started agreeing with her statements I finally had to speak up.

When it came to me, I started out simply by stating that I had tattoos, and I loved everyone of them. But what I continued to say, I believe had an impact of the view points of the women sitting around me. I discussed how the tattoos I have aren't just drunken adventures that I have had, they were in essence who I am as a person. I talked about how my tattoos were my faith story and how if, instead of judging me for having tattoos, someone asked me what they stood for they would learn the side of me that is both happy and sad, but most of all is and always will be my story to Christ and the story of how Christ fought for me. I continued saying that if people would step out of the box and asked about the tattoos of some people, you might be surprised by what you learn. When I finished, the room was quiet. A couple just smiled, and my mother and sister in law looked at me and smiled.

As we stood up and walked out one of the women stopped me and simply asked if she could see them and heat the story, so I told her everything. And now you can hear it all as well.

It started with my treble cleft and Gods hands, with the words Vater Von Lichtern (Father of lights in German). It was my first tattoo, and it symbolized a gift that I have always loved God for giving me, the gift of music. You see without music I would be lost. So the words in the song Father of Lights, "every good and perfect gift comes from you" shows how God knew the perfect gift for me was, and I was and am so grateful for the love I have for music. I am always able to listen to God's words every time I listen to the music around me.

After that I got my triquetta and angel wings on my ankle. This one means more to me then anyone will ever know. It is simple in design but the meaning is one that will never change for me. The center represents the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is the essence of my faith. The wings, symbolize my family and friends that help me to keep my faith alive and are always there to support me in my faith. But one of the feathers of the wings is covered with a red bandage. That bandage means two things one more important then the other. 1, it reminds me that there will be times that my faith will be wounded but like all things with time it will heal. But more importantly it is there for a dear friend of mine. You see growing up I became friends with a man at church that become very important to me. He was a man that would always hug me, and was proud of all that I did. But I slowly started seeing that he was sick, he lost his voice and the laughter that I grew so used to hearing became silent. I later learned that he had HIV/AIDS. A disease that at the time I had heard of but never knew someone with it. That friend passed away but he never left my side. He taught me that life should always be full of friends and laughter no matter what. He taught me that even at the end you should never lose the happy spirit around you. I miss him dearly but I know he is always with me and I know he and I have a connection that will never end.

Next comes my back piece. Two angels with bible verses that speak of the healing hands of God. Why is it so big, well because that piece represents a moment in my life that few will ever understand completely. That piece shows me and my relationship with my grandmother, a women that I care for so much it hurts. Every time I think of the reasoning behind that tattoo I tear up, in fact I am tearing up right now. You see at one point in my life my grandmother was sick, like ICU sick. I was worried but confused at the same time. I was supposed to go on a mission trip but I was unsure if I should leave her. Finally after talking to my mom and grandfather I decided to go. Well at the end of the week I was sitting at the communion that was taking place and I started crying. When my bro came up behind me and asked what was wrong I said I wasn't sure. One side of me knew that I had just given up my life to Christ but another part of me felt that something else was wrong. The next day when I got home I went to the hospital I ran to see my family, and was quickly told to talk to my grandmother. What happened after will be a moment that I feel will stay between me and my grandmother for awhile, the words that were exchanged I feel forever bonded us and most of all altered my life forever. You see at that time I knew I was to be a nurse, and see helped me see that. She was the reason that I began to see nursing as my true calling and I am so grateful for her and I know that she and I will always be each others angels.

I also have winnie the pooh on my ankle. I know I know, really Pooh Bear? Well yes, you see Pooh is my connection not only to my mother but also to my future. I grew up being pooh bear and my mom was Tigger. So when I see Pooh I instantly think of family. Well in high school I was plagued with horrible cramping, when I finally went to a doctor I found that the cause of the pain was a cyst. A cyst that had caused damage to the Fallopian tube. So in order to completely remove the cyst they had to remove the tube as well. At a follow up appointment I asked my doctor a heart filled question, what did all this mean for me having kids? You see kids for me is a true dream. I feel like I am destined to be a mom and I love being with kids. I actually made one boyfriend laugh because I had said once that the only reason I want a husband is just so I could have kids, it isn't true.....well for the most part. So when the doctor stated that for me kids could be hard to have and that is saying that no more cysts will occur, I became scared. Scared for not knowing if my dreams will be able to occur. I know there are other ways to have children but having my own growing inside of me doesn't compare to the other ways to have children. Pooh Bear is a reminder that if it is meant to be my family will occur. He has a butterfly sitting on his nose symbolizing the dream that is my kids, and once I have kids  I will add butterflies flying around him as to show that dreams can take off. It also shows that all of this is in Gods hands and with him anything is possible.

Lastly, (for now) there is my Gerber Daisy and ladybug that represent my nieces that I have lost due to HPE. It reminds me that HoPE does exist and mostly it reminds me of how the little time I did have with those girls have changed my life forever. They taught me so much in such a short time and I will always love them. I know that I have two guardian angels that constantly watch over me and I can't wait to see them again. It also reminds me of the pain and struggling I went through in a couple years to get to this point of my faith walk. It reminds me that no matter how dark the hole seems there is always a light at the end I just have to remember that. It also reminds me that God never left my side, but the struggles I fought greatly strengthened my relationship with Christ.

When I was done saying what all my tattoos meant, she looked at me and said that she would never look at a tattoo in the same way. And I know she hasn't, because that same lady as told me that there have been a couple times she walked up to a stranger and asked what there story was. She said she gets the occasional drunken night, but some of the stories she does hear, changes her view of life occasionally. You see this is why i say don't judge a tattoo.....the story behind it could be one of a life changing moment.

You see our bodies are our temples, we just choose to decorate them with the stories of our faith, kinda like a church decorating with the story of the bible. It shows faith, love, hope, and so much more. Tattoos are a way for us to remind our selves of where we have been and most of all where we are going. They are there as testimonials. So next time you see someone with tattoos, go up and ask what they mean, you may be surprised at what you hear. Tattoos are one of the many great ways to learn of someones journey in this life so far.

So like I said, we just want to decorate our temples with the story of our faith.

Daddy's Little Girl

Finally!!! Able to post something again.....my computer sometimes gets on my last nerve and stays there for a very very long time.

Anyway, I have had this idea for awhile and it is finally time to place it in writing.

Last semester, I had the privilege to be in a book study on campus with a couple local priests and some close friends. We were reading the novel Blue Like Jazz, and were enjoying some of the many discussions that come from it. Most of the time we got off track but there was one day were the conversation took a turn that really got me thinking. In one of the chapters the author discussed the name of Father, in terms of talking to God. He asked why as Christians do we say Father and God interchangeably. And it got our group talking about our own fathers. During the conversation see a bigger connection....

You see I brought up the idea that to many of us God is the Father. He like many Dads out there, is the protector, the one that watches over us. He loves us unconditionally like the Dads of the world. He is the perfect example of what a Father should be, he is our heavenly Father. So what if our image of God is linked to our image of our fathers? I know mine kinda is.

My image of my Heavenly Father is so closely linked to the image that is my Dad, my Papa Nuke, my Daddy. You see my Dad was amazing growing up, I think all my siblings can say the same thing. He was a man that would give anything for his kids. If that meant working the night shift and then getting in a car and driving three hours so we can all be together then so be it. My daddy was a man of faith that I was always in awe of. He always protected those close to him. He is always a man that would give up his time to help others and never complain about it. But there is so much more. My Daddy is a great teacher as well. From cars to history and everything in between. He was always there to help with a school protect, he would sit and talk about the history of each plane at an airshow, if I had questions about WWII there was always a chance to go to the Nimitz museum. Wanna learn about car engines, go to my Dad. He is also one of my biggest supports, if I need a hug I know I can go to him and get a hug that feels like it will never end. He was always there to wipe away a tear and always there is I just needed him. My Dad is my best example of my Heavenly Father. Even in times of arguments my Dad is my best example.

You see just like Dads here we has children of God seem to love to argue with him sometimes. We get upset when he doesn't give us what he wants, and we defy him if we think we know better. But like my Dad did for me, God is always there, waiting for us to realize we made a mistake, and always willing to forgive us when we do wrong.

In my eyes that is one of the many reasons (that aren't spelled out in the bible) that God truly is the Father. But I wanna take it a step further, for me God is also my Daddy. He will love and cherish us like a Daddy loves a little girl. And for me, Daddy is more respectful then Father, why? Because daddy means that I truly love him with my whole heart, Daddy is filled with the love that I have for God and all that he does for me. That is why I love the song Abba Father. In it, the lyrics state:

Abba Father, I love you Daddy 

Abba Father I love you, I love you 

Abba Father I love you Daddy 

I love you Daddy. 

Those lyrics are filled with our love of the Father, of our Daddy. And every time I sing it I think of not only my Father and Daddy in heaven, but I think of my Daddy. The love I have for both takes over and I become overwhelmed with love and emotion for the two! Without the example of my Dad I wouldn't have the image and views that I have of my Father. And I thank my Dad so much for showing me in this world the love and compassion that my Father in Heaven has for me in the next world. 

So in conclusion, I love you Daddy, both here and in heaven! 

LOL

Let me just start by saying, I am sorry for not posting yesterday. Clinical was harder then I thought it would be yesterday and so I got home and crashed. My body was super happy for it though.

So that brings me to today's blog post, which will center around the following meme.

I was cruising the internet, mostly trying to avoid the school homework I had due, when I found this image. And I first I just skipped over it, but then after talking with some people on facebook I quickly had to go back and find it again. You see the topic of going through the motions in church came up. We were all talking about how there are times in almost everyone's life that you go to church and say the words and go through the motions but never really understand or mean what you are doing. Like the picture about, we say LOL but do you really mean that you are laughing out loud. 

Of course I can't say I have never done that. I know I have been to church and just not had my heart in the game. In fact I remember plenty of times were I would sit in church and think about other things going on in my life at the time. From the outside I was doing everything right, but on the inside I wasn't really at church. 

As Christians we have a problem with putting on masks in this world. We sometimes fear that if people see our true selves then we will be outcast or not respected. But when that mask spills over into our time with God, is it really worth it? You see I have three major masks in my life, I have my school face, my hospital face, and my church face. Now I get worried when these three faces start to blend into one another so I keep them as fall apart as possible....the issue is that isn't what we were made to do. You are one person, and you are a person that shouldn't have to pick and choose what to show people. We have to be true to ourselves and others and not hide parts of ourselves. We can't go around LOLing with a straight face. You have to want to be true to yourself and your actions. In church truly focus on the words that you are saying, in the real world go out and show your faith through your actions, don't hid who you are to friends because unless they know the real you, they may not be real friends. 

God made you in his image, which means you have to be pretty special. Yes we have flaws, but those flaws are what adds to your spiritual journey so don't hide them. They make you even more special. So instead of going through the motions and hiding parts of your self in this world, go out there and Laugh Out Loud and mean it. But your whole heart and soul into church on Sundays, don't hide yourself. Once you do this who knows were you might end up, and who knows what can come out of it. You might just get someone else to come out of their shell as well.

Court 

P.S. In honor of game day......GIG 'EM! 

A Southern Girls Love....

So, if you haven't read about me, or figured it out, I am so Southern it hurts. I was born and raised in Texas and my family tree was rooted in Texas early in the family and it has never moved. With the love of the South comes a couple things:
1. Family is the center of our focus: staying with grandparents and constantly seeing extended family is no big deal
2. Faith is also linked in the center: Going to church on a Sunday is rarely questioned
3. If a women says bless your heart, well let's just say it isn't always good.
4. We pride ourselves on working hard and caring for numbers 1 and 2
and finally....
5. Football can be classified as a religion: Friday Night Lights, Saturday Football Fever, and Pro Sundays are always on. High school, college, and pro- they are all amazing and they are always on in a Texans home.

So where am I going with this? I recently went on a journey to find different forms of study out in the world (hence the starting of this blog), but in my journey I got caught up in a book store. I walked around the rows of books, skimming the titles, and occasionally picking up a book to read the description. I had skimmed though the religious fiction, history, fiction, non-fiction, etc; but then I caught myself in the Sports section, a section I usually bypass. But out of the corner of my eye I saw a book entitled: God and Football: Faith and Fanaticism in the SEC. 

I was quickly taken aback and intrigued. You see not only was this about God and Football but it also included the SEC (Southeastern Conference) which is now the home of my Texas A&M Aggies!! I was drawn to pick up the book and this was the description (well according to Amazon, I wasn't going to write it out in a bookstore):

In 2008 over six million people attended an SEC football game. They spent thousands on season tickets, donated millions to athletic departments, and for three months a year ordered their entire lives around the schedule of their favorite team. As a Christian, Gibbs knows he cannot serve two masters, but at times his faith is overwhelmed by his fanaticism. He is not alone. Gibbs and his six million friends do not live in a spiritually void land where such borderline idol worship would normally be accepted. They live in the American South, where according to the 2008 American Religious Identification Survey, 84 percent identify themselves as Christians. This apparent contradiction that Gibbs sees in his own life, and in millions of others', has led him to journey to each of the twelve schools to spend time with rabid Christian fans of various ages and denominations. Through his journey, he learns how others are able to balance their passion for their team with their devotion to God.

I then continued to read what others had to say about the book. It was interesting to see that what Gibbs did was take the time to talk to fans about how they fit Church and the religion that is football in the south into one cohesive lifestyle. He discussed traditions and different things each school in the SEC did on game day. Of course you have the tailgating, but you also have things such as midnight yell (A&M), War Eagle (Auburn), and the traditions of LSU and Alabama. Gibbs causes us to ponder how the two worlds of football and church collide.

But I see it differently. What if we learn how to make the two worlds better by using characteristics of each? Gibbs brings this point up on his own too. Sit and think for a moment, what if churches acted like a big tailgating party for Jesus? What if we as Christians devoted our lives to Christ the way that many Southern football fans devote their lives to the game? How awesome would it be to have a conversation about Christ the same way that men gather in little country towns Friday mornings to discuss the big game that night? But also think about how our Christian beliefs do flood into our world of Football.

Last football season, one man took the Football/Christianity world by storm. If you don't know who I am talking about, you live under a rock. Just kidding. I am, though, talking about Tim Tebow. Because of this one man, we now have terms like Tebowing, all because he stopped and gave thanks to God when he did well. For one whole football season, Tebow became a household name, no matter what team you supported. But the awesome thing about that is the fact that because of the actions of Tim Tebow, the whole country began to see Christ in a new life. College campuses exploded with discussions on the subject the actions that Tim Tebow showed. Christians began to step up saying that what this man was doing was showing his faith to a wider audience, and that it was okay. Of course some people became upset, but it got me thinking, why? Go into a locker room before a game and I bet that there will be praying going on, the only thing that changed with Tebow is that he took it to the field, you see he wasn't scared to show his faith. So why should we? We should love to stop and pray no matter who is looking, because it isn't for them, it is for us and our relationship with God. Look at the beginning of the video below, those boys love football, and guess what in that first minute or so of the video they are holding hands and praying. Reading comments about this video on youtube was even more moving. Many men were stating how they miss the game and would give anything to jump back in, shouldn't we still have that love and devotion to God and the church, always ready to jump back in and continue playing the game.

Want another example of the two in relationship with one another. So watch Facing the Giants. A movie about a high school football coach, who ends up turning him and his team to God, and see what happens.

Still don't believe me that the two go great together. Read these lyrics: 

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I’ve got the will, Lord if you’ve got the toe.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Take all the brothers who’ve gone on before
And all of the sisters who’ve knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick’em up front in the offensive line.

So next time you sit in church or are watching the big game on tv, think about what can be learned from the two. Better yet think of how you can combine the two. Add the enthusiastic tendencies from football to your live in the church. Be ready to be the football for Jesus and let him use you to score that winning touchdown. 

Enjoy the game that is life, just don't forget to support your Coach and trust in his decisions. After all, chances are he has been playing the game longer then you have. 

And in my final message......after lasts nights wonderful game, GO COWBOYS!