Just real Quick

I wanted to post before I left for my trip. I am going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic and ask for prayers, not only for safe travel but also for the actions that will take place on this trip.

I also wanted to say I am sorry for not posting in the last few weeks......holidays made life a little crazy. I do have plans to post a few blogs about the trip when I get back in the new year so we will start the ball rolling then.

Thank you for all the support this year and may all of yall have a great New Years Eve!

God Bless!

Sandy Hook

Okay so this blog has taken me a few days for a reason. I have continued thinking about it and wondering if I should post this. It has been written for a couple days now but I never had the courage to hit publish.

The tragedy at Sandy Hook shocked me like it did the rest of the country but not for entirely the same reasons. Yes I was hurt that someone would kill 20 innocent kids but there were other things that rocked me to the core. One of these things was seeing the first responders at the scene. As someone who has worked with the fire department and EMS, seeing 10 ambulances with their doors closed and no sirens running completely stunned me. That meant that there was no one that could be saved, that meant that there was no hope, and in a situation where all anyone needs or wants is hope, that scene saddened me. The second thing that impacted me was the aftermath and that is what this blog is about.

You see as Christians we go around preaching about loving all and not judging others, but isn't that what we all did as soon as we were able to have the name of the shooter. I am not saying the man is innocent, what I am saying is that we shouldn't be the ones doing the judging. Adam Lanza was a sick man, you have to be in order to perform an act like that at Sandy Hook. So instead of judging him, shouldn't we as Christians be praying for him. Praying for his lost soul.  A soul lost sight of right and wrong. Pray that his soul finds peace and that Jesus, the only one that can judge, judges justly and fairly.

"May he without sin, cast the first stone." Isn't this one of the biggest thing that Jesus preaches.

None of us can say we have never done anything wrong in God's eyes. Now we can say we haven't done anything this horrific but who says one sin is bigger then the other. I know we as human beings don't. All sin is created equal in God's eyes.

One song popped in my head after this whole situation. Well two actually, one for the kids and one for the shooter. Take a listen to the song below.

Isn't that last verse appropriate for this situation. I think so. It proves that if asked for forgiveness and love God would even give it to a murderer and liar. "Who will love me for me, NOT for what I have done or what I will become. Who will love me for me, because nobody has shown me what love really means." God will love us for us, because after all he created us to be in his image, yes that image can stray and falter but it is still the image that God created. He loves each and everyone one of us because we are his children. 

I mean think about this. A mother, who's son was a convicted murder, will still cry for her son even though she knows what he did. Why? Because she loves him no matter what. A mother, like God, has the gift of unconditional love that no one can alter or take away. A son or daughter that makes a mistake, even one has big as killing another, will always be loved by their mother and ultimately their Father in heaven. 

So why are we as Christians are taking away from this man the love that ultimately we can't take away. The only one that can do that is God, not us. We are just the siblings that are sitting around wondering what punishment our Brother in Christ will receive. We are sitting around hoping that he gets the worse that the Father can do, but shouldn't it be the opposite. Shouldn't we be that caring brother or sister that sits quietly in the other room hoping that the Father still loves our brother and has some mercy on him. 

Yes, children and teachers died that tragic day. Yes, continue praying for them and their families as well as the entire community. Yes, this country will heal, we always do. But also, pray for Adam Lanza. Pray for his soul and his hurt. Because you know that that had to be a man that was deeply wounded and ill. It takes a lot to push someone that far, but we will never know the full story and honestly it shouldn't matter what the story it. 

I know some people may look at me differently after this blog, and I am okay with that. I am okay if you think that what I am saying is wrong but I guess that is the whole point of a blog. Writing what you think without the fear of others judging you. 

Finally because of the subject, here is a wonderful song and dedication to those that did lose their lives on that tragic day. They are lost but never forgotten. 

God Bless!

Superheroes!!!!

Okay so I wanted to start off by saying, Wow! I can't believe how many people are reading this blog now. It amazes me how many people are enjoying what I am writing. I am so glad I started this and I thank God for being able to reach to so many people.

So onward to today's study.

I want to start with a question, What do the following things have in common?

  

If you said Superheroes, good job but not the answer I was looking for. Here what if I added this picture. 

Have you figured it out? You could still say Superhero because well Jesus is my superhero but I am looking a little deeper. What if I said the answer was Sacrifice? 

Superheroes are something that we all grow up with. I am almost positive that everyone reading this can name multiple superheroes and have at least one of them that they love and adore. For me that is Iron Man, Thor, Caption America (or Action thanks to my mom), and Batman. But look at all the superheroes out there, they all have something in common. They all had to sacrifice in order to help humanity. 

Batman- sacrificed love, family, friends, and his life. 

Thor- a brother and a love 

They all give up time and their lives to protect the lives of others. They never question what they do or why they do it. They just get out there and risk it all in order to maintain that life on earth is safe and those they care about are okay. 

In today's world we are totally engaged in the world of superheroes. Every year at least one superhero movie is realized and it got me thinking. Who is the best superhero of all time? Jesus 

You see Jesus is everything that we love about superheroes. He gave it all, he gave his life, in order to protect all of those that needed it. He sacrificed himself to save all. Jesus is the ultimate superhero. Okay yeah he didn't have a cool cape or a hidden identity but superheroes are more then that. They are more then the smoke and mirrors, more then the fighting, more then the mask. Superheroes are hope for humanity, the are a gift to mankind, they are sacrifice, they are good beliefs and morals (okay ignore iron man on this one). Superheroes are everything and more and that is Jesus. Jesus is hope a gift, sacrifice, good beliefs and morals. In fact Jesus was the first superhero ever. How cool is that! 

Jesus saved us all. He saved Batman, Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk. Jesus saved those that save us. 

And just like the other superheroes, Jesus has to fight the bad guys, it is just that these bad guys are sometimes created by us. They are sin and evil, corruption and the devil. They are bad guys are are bigger then Loki, the Joker, Riddler, the Sandman. These bad guys also never end or die. They keep going but because of the sacrifice that Jesus gave, they can't win. The Sacrifice of the Life of the Son of God made it so that no evil could win. All we had to do was believe and ask for forgiveness and the evil is gone. 

Jesus is the ultimate superhero. He always has been and always will be and I believe that with my whole heart. But there is another part of this we have to discuss. 

When a superhero wins a battle what do the people do. For example in the last Batman movie the Dark Night Rises, what did Robin do after it looked like Batman had sacrificed his life to save Gotham? He picked up where Batman left off. He started to fight crime the way that Bruce Wayne did. 

So what does that have to do with the whole Jesus superhero thing? Well simple. We have to pick up where he left off. No I am not saying we all have to sacrifice our lives. Well I kinda am, but let me explain. We have to sacrifice our lives to live the life of Jesus. We have to be the ultimate sacrifice to others. It is our turns to pick up where he left off. We have to become the new heroes in this story. 

So pick up where he left off. Be Robin and take over the role. Help out others like a superhero would. It is time to stand up and be what we are meant to be, the Light of Christ in a world of Darkness. The hope and sacrifice in this world. I dare you too! 

God Bless! 

The Climb

Actually thought I wasn't going to post today but I think now is the best time for me to post.

If you aren't friends with me on facebook then chances are you haven't seen all the drama I have been through today but let's just say today I have experienced one of my biggest potholes in my road in life. I was ready to graduate in May. Making plans and conquering the world and then I failed a final and possibly a class. So I no longer know if May graduation is possible.

So what does this have to do with my world of study. Well other then the fact that I have to reevaluate how I study in school. Well simple. Listen to this song.

"But I, I gotta keep trying. I gotta keep my head held high. There's always gonna be another mountain, I am always gonna wanna make it move. There's always gonna be an uphill battle, and sometimes I am gonna have to lose. It ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what is waiting on the other side. It's the climb."

Wow, now that I have listened more carefully this is totally my song for the day. 

God puts this obstacles in your life to help you figure out things. For example, maybe this is his way of testing to see if this is what I really want in life. Maybe it is his way of proving that I am not the one with a plan he his, and maybe this is his way of telling me to stop thinking that I am perfect, because let's face I am not. 

These struggles make us enjoy what we get even more. The climb helps us to see and enjoy what really matters it is a way for God to prove that we can handle anything that he gives us. God never gives us more then we can handle. We just have to change how we handle things sometimes. God places mountains in front of us all the time, we just have to know what to do when they come upon us. 

"This is only a mountain" This is only one stop in a journey that can mean so much more. Two more months for me, who know how long the stop will be for others. And don't think you only have one to deal with. Life is full of mountains and valleys. Life is full of ups and downs, it helps shape us into who we became and how we act in this life. 

So anytime you have a point in the road just remember you can make it move with God's help. And also remember something that I have learned today. You aren't alone. You have a support system, not only in Christ and God, but also in family and friends they will help up any mountain that you will face. They will support you in your journey. 

I know this isn't a really long blog but I just don't know what to write. And I needed to get this off of my chest. But I hope you can take something out of it. I know I did. 

God Bless! 

Starbucks

So I am going to write this before I get in my own world and start studying for my final tomorrow.

Today is Christmas in my apartment (we celebrate the day before finals start so we can have fun before we either die from finals or leave for the Christmas break). And it made me think of what kindness is and really what random acts of kindness is. You see so many people expect people to be kind on Christmas but isn't the random acts of kindness even better.

Take for example Starbucks....

Recently at a Starbucks drive through a person decided to perform a random act of kindness. The driver at the window was getting ready to pay for his coffee when he decided that he would also pay for the coffee of the person behind him. Now this was in the middle of the morning Starbucks rush, and it kinda threw the barista off but in the end the driver paid for his coffee and the ladies coffee behind him. But this isn't the end to this story. When the lady pulled up and was told that someone had bought her coffee, instead of just driving off with her's, she turned around and paid for the coffee of the person behind her. This pattern continued on for 3 hours at this starbucks, 3 hours of people buying coffee for strangers. What one man started set off a chain reaction that really no one had seen before.

So what are some other acts of kindness, well just read for yourself.

Granted some are a little bit less kind then others but it shows something. This is what humanity is about, Helping out fellow man not fighting with them are arguing with them. Helping each other out and passing it forward.

A great example of this is the movie Pay it Forward. If you haven't seen it please do. In this clip the teacher explains the Extra Credit assignment and the little boy explains his pay it forward idea. The whole movie revolves around this idea that if one person receives some help or a random act of kindness and then helps three others what amazing things can happen. Seriously watch this movie it is amazing. But just a warning you will need tissues to watch it. Trust me!

So what if we acted this way in real life, what if everytime some one helped us we helped three others. I think it is the ultimate way to show Christs love and actions through our own. And don't just help three friends, help out a complete stranger. Show your love for God's creation. God wants us to love each other with all we have. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I don't think that involves fighting with each other all the time. Because I dunno about you but I don't want to fight with myself.

Throughout the Bible, kindness is brought up and discussed. I think that as much as it is talked about chances are we should follow this principle of kindness. I mean even insurance companies are showing this pay it forward concept.....just look.

Proverbs 19:22 - What is desirable in a person is kindness, and it is better to be poor than a liar

Acts 20:35b - It is more blessed to give than to receive.

So I dare you. Pay it forward. Show kindness to someone every chance you get. That is what we as Christians are supposed to do. We are made to go out and shine with Christ's love and kindness not hide it for ourselves. Kindness is one of the best principles to live your life with. It allows you to become closer to Christ and Closer to the world around you. 

So go out and spread the kindness. Help three people and ask them to spread the kindness to three more. Let's see what we can do in this world that will make it just a little bit more loving and caring.

God Bless!

Oh and real quick, there may or may not be a blog tomorrow as I have a final that I am stressing over and depending on my mood I may not be wanting to right a blog. 

My Home

Okay so once again I am going to go a little country but just here me out on this please.

Okay so I want you to sit and think for a minute (I would say close your eyes but then you wouldn't be able to read this). I want you sit and think about one simple question.....Where are you most at home? Basically where is this world do you feel the most free and the most safe from the world around you. Okay you thinking about it.

For me there are four places that I get this safety and the feeling of being home. And here they are....
1) The house I grew up in on 1626. I close my eyes and I see it all, I feel the happiness and the togetherness that the house represented to me. I see the love of family and a bond that will never be broken because of that house.

2) My house that we moved to after the house above. Why that house, well because that is 16 years of my life that are kept in the house. I think of how those walls  saw me cry my eyes out when a boyfriend and I broke up, or how they saw me and my best friends giggle and laugh until our sides hurt. That house saw everything that has made me who I am today. I miss sitting on the back porch steps and looking at the stars as I pondered whatever was on my mind that night.

3) The beach. The beach is one of the places where my home is in terms of my relationship with Christ. I am at home when I hear the crashing waves and I know that just like the waves wash away the footprints in the sand, so to does God wash away my sins and my hurt.

And finally

4) Camp Capers, a place that I grew up. I went to summer camps there, retreats with my parents, Vocare and Cursillo weekends. When I close my eyes I can smell the distinct smell of the cabins. I can hear the laughter and fun that I was always able to have there. I can picture sitting outside looking up at the stars and talking to those close to me about what matters most in life. I can feel the way the stone felt under my feet in St. Francis chapel. I can feel the wind in my hair and somehow know that that is the holy spirit talking to me.

So those are my homes.....but what does this mean? Where exactly am I going with this?

Before I keep going I want you to listen to two songs. (don't worry I will post the lyrics too) Both are new favorites of mine but they help bring my point across.

"Where My Heart Belongs"

Every now and then I go back in time
to that little red house on Oak Mont Drive
Next to that big magnolia tree,
a wide eyed girl running wild and free
That's me

Me and my brothers in the Georgia sun,
running through the yard with the sprinklers on
Lazy dog lying in the cool green grass
Never thought life would fly so fast
It don't last

I still hear that old sweet song,
a simple melody calling me back home
where the love grows pure and strong
That's where my heart
That's where my heart belongs

Skipping stones and kicking cans
Stealing my first kiss by the lemonade stand
I can't forget those southern nights
Fallen stars and fireflies
Felt so right

I still hear that old sweet song,
a simple melody calling me back home
where the love grows pure and strong
That's where my heart
That's where my heart belongs

Those family days are all but gone
Everybody moved out, everybody's moved on
When I'm all alone and feeling like

I'm stuck in the middle of this crazy life
I just close my eyes
and I can hear that old sweet song, 
a simple melody calling me back home

I can hear that old sweet song,
a simple melody calling me back home
where the love grows pure and strong
That's where my heart
That's where my heart belongs

And then Home 

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. oo-oo-oo-oo [x2]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [x2]

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. oo-oo-oo-oo [x4]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [x4]

Okay, okay I know that was a lot but I have a reason for it. Look back at the places you thought of. Or if you didn't think about yours look at mine. They all have something in common. They are where your heart takes you, they are were you feel safe and for me that means that those places are also where I feel closest to Christ. Now there are others that I didn't name (St. Stephens nature trail for example) that are also home for me and I know there are others I mean look at the second song. "Settle down, it'll all be clear.....just know you're not alone, Cause I'm going to make this place your home." Doesn't that sound like a promise from God. I mean he has the power to make these special places in our hearts more then that, He can make them a Home for me and Him to live in forever. God helps us find these special places in order to help remind us that he is always there. 

Even the first song shows that... "I still hear that old sweet song, a simple melody calling me back home where the love grows pure and strong That's where my heart That's where my heart belongs" Your heart knows when these places occur. It knows when God is present and in times that you need his presence most your heart and mind dragging you back to a save home where your heart belongs and as a place to heal. 

Think about it, when you are worried or upset, do you not close your eyes and try to escape from the world. And when you do escape is it one of those places that you mentioned above. OR have you ever been emotionally hurt but when you travel back to one of your "homes" you get a sense of healing and help that you have never before experienced. I bet you have and I bet you loved every minute of it, because let's face it how could you not love time with Christ and with God you loves you more then we will ever know possible. 

And a home with God doesn't have to be a house. I mean two of mine are but then there is Camp Capers and the beach. it just depends on where you are safest and happiest. Look up quotes on homes...."Home is where the heart is" how true is that. A home is where ever you make it no matter what. 

So look around and close your eyes. Where is your home with Christ? Where do you escape too? 

Love you all and God Bless! 

Your heartbeat

Okay so I am sorry for not posting in forever. With Thanksgiving and the winding down of school life has been super crazy. But anyway on to the world of study...

Recently I was listening to one of my favorite radio programs when I heard this story....

There was once a priest that was spending time in the hospital setting. One day the priest asked a friend of his, who was a surgeon, if he could sit in on a surgery just to see what they were all about. The surgeon was more then welcome to let him in so the next day the priest was sitting in an open heart surgery watching everything take place. Now at one point the surgeon was working on fixing a hole in the heart, as he finished fixing it the turned to priest and said "when I touch it will start to beat again." So the priest stood in wonder as the surgeon tapped the heart.....but nothing happened. The surgeon tried again but again nothing. So CPR was started and everything was being done to get the heart to beat again but nothing helped. So then the priest started praying as he saw something he never thought possible. The surgeon walked to the head of the bed and whispered into the patients ear, "Look I know you are tired, but I fixed your heart, it is now up to you to get it to beat, please just try for me." Sure enough the priest saw the heart begin to beat and the surgeon whispered once again, "Thank you, I knew you could do it."

So why this story. Well think about it. We has human beings have all been hurt in life at some point. Some of us worse then others but emotional pain is something that just happens. Our hearts get holes in them that sometimes need a spiritual surgical intervention. But sometimes it takes more then that sometimes we also have to want to get our heart beating again.

God is the ultimate surgeon who is more then willing to step in and fix the hurt that we have but we sometimes need that extra word of encouragement to get the will to live again. I know I have in the past. And I am sure you have too. God wants to heal us, he wants up to be spiritually healthy but he can only do so much before the ball is in our court. You see we have to want to move forward from the injuries that may have happened before.

I have dealt with having a hole in my heart so big I didn't know what to do with life anymore. Actually I just didn't care what happened anymore. But one day I knew that the hole in my heart was healed, but like the patient I didn't care. I didn't want my heart to beat, It took a while of God whispering in my ear telling me that he fixed the hole it was just all up to me to get it to beat again. Of course it has begun to beat again and stronger then ever because let's face it when God fixes your heart it fixes it in the best way possible.

So here is what I want you to think of today. Do you have a hole that needs to be fixed? How strong is your spiritual heartbeat? Is God in the OR whispering for you to start your heart beating again? Life is a struggle but we have to want to keep going in order to find the greatness that God has planed for us. We have to want to continue before he can show us everything.

Thanks and God Bless!!!

Two Years

So heads up. Today might not be completely about the world of Christian Study, but I need to talk about something and well this is the place I am going to do it. I am okay with you not reading it, I am okay with you being upset that I didn't give you a daily dose of study, because honestly today I have something else on my heart.


So two years, two years and I still remember and on some days I still hurt. I still know that two years ago today Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was in theatres. I still can pick out the outfit I bought for a funeral, and I still remember thinking I might have broken my phone because no phone should ever survive being thrown across the room at a wall. You see two years ago today one of the sweetest nieces I have had the honor of being an aunt to passed away at 18 months. Two years ago my Christian journey kinda hit a giant road block. Two years ago I quickly learned what it meant to have to grow up and see how God's light is there even in the darkness, you just have to open your eyes.

I am beyond grateful that Estella Ann Neukam came into my life over 3 years ago, and even though it hurts I love knowing that even though she left my physical world two years ago she became an angel in my life, an angel that I know will never leave my side. She and her sister have changed my life for the better. They have helped me see that even when I hate God he will always love me and be there for me when I decide to come back to his side. They helped show me that anything is possible when you put the Neukam family to the test. And they made me realize that family means so much more to me then I ever thought possible. Those girls made me who I am today.

The song above is a constant reminder to me that yes while we were able to hold our precious Estella for a short while, God is holding her now and is showing her the world. Because let's face it, He loves her far more then we ever could. Estella showed us so much and in return we got the honor to carry her through the short time she was with us.

Am I going to say I am healed, no. Because honestly I don't think I will ever be 100% healed because there is a monkey shaped hole in my heart. Someone asked me today how I had remained so strong two years ago. The answer is simple I didn't. I will admit, I turned away from the Church, I turned away from others, I even turned away from myself, but all of that doesn't matter. What matters is that because of my sweet Estella my relationship with Christ and my family is so much stronger. I now know what it means to walk in the shadows, and I know that I can get out of them intact and stronger.


I have a Gerber daisy tattoo with HoPE in the middle (in Chinese). That tattoo is a constant reminder of my monkey and a reminder of where I have been and how much stronger I have become. It is a reminder that without HoPE I am nothing.

So maybe this can be related to study. Maybe looking back is showing how Study and Piety can go together. So what is my action. My action is never forgetting. It is helping others that are experiencing pain and heart ache. It is helping those families impacted by HPE and mostly just helping out families in general. Estella and Heidi both are constant reminders about why I am going into nursing and I am beyond grateful for that.

I love you Estella, I will always love you. No one will ever be able to fill the monkey hole in my heart. Know that so many people are thinking about you today and thanks for making me who I am today. I love you so so so very much.

Thank you everyone for supporting me and my family, and thank you for sharing in the joy of this little girls life.

God Bless.

(Love you again Estella. <3 Aunt Courtney!)

My Dream in this World

Okay so before I start with my blog for today I just want to say.....THANK YOU!!!! The Last post I had one here got so many views and the blog in general is doing great. I never did this for the recognition but the fact that so many people are interested in what a 22 year old girl has to say just amazes me. So anyway back to the blog.....

In my last blog, one of the questions I wanted to ask Jesus was, do you find it weird that I pray for kids and a husband that I have never met? Well that is kinda where this blog is headed today. A couple people asked what I had meant by that and in light of somethings going on in my life I decided that I would post on here what I meant.

I grew up knowing my number one dream in my life was being a wife and mother. When I played house I always wanted to be the one that was the "Mom" and I always had to have at least 2 friends play my children. As I grew up this dream has yet to change but aspects of it have. I have realized being a mom and wife is more then just having a family for me, it is a chance to see and feel love that you can't get from anywhere else. It is a chance for me to get just one more glimpse of the love that God has for his children.

You see, I as someone who thinks she has a strong Christian faith and someone who wants to experience having a husband and kids, I see marriage has one of the best gifts God can give us. Marriage allows us a chance to experience a love that we can't get anywhere else. It allows us to commit to someone else and more importantly in my eyes, it allows us a chance find someone to walk with in our journey with Christ and to Christ. It allows us that lifelong partner that helps to pick us up and dust us off when we need it the most.

But Courtney, what about all the divorce rates out there, doesn't that stop you in your thinking about marriage? Answer is simple- NO! With God all things are possible, With Faith, Hope and Love all things are possible. I once heard that marriage was like a triangle, the closer you and your husband get to God the closer you get to one another, thus the harder it is to break. Like life, a marriage only ends when someone gives up and walks away, but as a Christian I see that as an excuse. As many lemons has life has handed me I should have walked away but I haven't, I keep my stride knowing that things will get better. I pray that I take this believe into my walk with Christ and my husband. 

You see I write this blog today for all my friends that are newly married or getting married soon. I write it for myself to remind me that even though I might not have found the right one yet, I pray daily for his well being, for his relationship with Christ, and mostly for the strength for us to find one another and love each other with our whole being. But mostly I write it for this. 

To remind people of this.....

1If I speak in the tongues^a of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^b but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Now take all the times that the word love is used and replace it with your name. You should be all of these things. In order to fully love and by loved, you must be patient and kind and never failing. You must not envy or be boastful. I want the kind of Love that is in the Bible, not the love that is in all the romance novels. I want love like my grandparents and parents have, a love that can stand the test of time. I want the Love that God has gifted us all, the love that makes us crave it. 

Love is an amazing gift, a gift that can move mountains and change the hearts of so many. So here is my question to you. What would you do for love or to strengthen your love? Do you think that having God in a relationship and marriage can drastically alter that couple in a better way? Love is something to never give up on and yet so many people do. And because I refuse to turn my back on one of the greatest gifts out there I will continue to pray for Mr. X. I will continue to look at the love around me and see God in every happy couple, in every struggling couple, because let's be honest God is there for those couples in the good and the bad times. In the times of love and the times of fighting. A relationship centered on the love of God will always have God in the middle no matter what the situation. 

So I will end with this prayer. 

Dear Lord:

Because love is patient: Help me to be slow to judge, but quick to listen, hesitant to criticize, but eager to encourage, remembering your endless patience with me.

Because love is kind: Help my words to be gentle and my actions to be thoughtful. Remind me to smile and to say "Please" and "Thank You" because those little things still mean so much.

Because love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud: Help me have a heart that is humble and sees the good in others. May I celebrate and appreciate all that I have and all that I am, as well as doing the same for those around me.

Because love is not rude or self-seeking: Help me to speak words that are easy on the ear and on the heart. When I'm tempted to get wrapped up in my own little world, remind me there's a great big world out there full of needs and hurts.

Because love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs: Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me. When I want to hold onto a grudge, gently help me release it so I can reach out with a hand of love instead.

Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth: Help me stand up for what is right and good. May I defend the defenseless, and help the helpless. Show me how I can make a difference.

Because love always protects and always trusts: Help me to be a refuge for those around me.When the world outside is harsh and cold, may my heart be a place of acceptance and warmth.

Finally, because love always perseveres: Help my heart continually beat with love for You and others. AMEN.

And finally help me remember the following: Someday I will marry the right person, with the right reason, and with God's permission! 

AMEN! 

What Would You Ask?

Okay so recently I was just on a Cursillo weekend. During this weekend I handed out a CD of songs that I loved and adored in my walk with Christ. Now on this CD was one song that, to be honest, I was worried about. I didn't know what people would think and honestly how I completely felt about it myself. That song was Beer with Jesus by Travis Rhett which is posted below.

And in case you can't listen to the song at this moment I will even post the lyrics for you.....

If I could have a beer with Jesus
Heaven knows I’d sip it nice and slow
I’d try to pick a place that ain’t too crowded
Or gladly go wherever he wants to go

You can bet I’d order up a couple tall ones
Tell the waitress put ‘em on my tab
I’d be sure to let him do the talkin’
Careful when I got the chance to ask

How’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Do you hear the prayers I send
What happens when life ends
And when you think you’re comin’ back again
I’d tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

If I could have a beer with Jesus
I’d put my whole paycheck in that jukebox
Fill it up with nothing but the good stuff
Sit somewhere we couldn’t see a clock

Ask him how’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Have you been there from the start
How’d you change a sinner’s heart
And is heaven really just beyond the stars
I’d tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

He can probably only stay, for just a couple rounds
But I hope and pray he’s stayin’ till we shut the whole place down

Ask him how’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
What’s on the other side?
Is mom and daddy alright?
And if it ain’t no trouble tell them I said hi
I’d tell everyone but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
I’d tell everyone but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

So why was I so afraid of this song and yet I loved it. Well let me start with fear. I was afraid that people wouldn't see the truth in the song. I was afraid that many people would honestly just hear it as a song were Jesus is drinking, and well who would want that. Honestly, I would. And here is why....

Imagine it. Imagine sitting in a bar drinking a Shiner (or a Land Shark for that matter) and in walks Jesus in all of his glory. What would you do? Would you be like many of us and start to think that you have had one to many, or would you stand up and invite him over to the sit next to you? Then what if he did sit next to you....what do you do then? So I thought about it and I have come up with a few questions. Here is my list. 

1. Why kill off the dinosaurs? I mean how cool would it be to have one of those in my backyard. 

2. Why hurt and sorrow? What are we supposed to learn from that? 

3. Did you ever think we weren't worth the amount of pain and suffering you went through? 

4. Do you find it weird that I pray for a husband and kids I don't have yet? Because honestly sometimes I do. 

5. What is heaven like? 

6. Do I make Curt, RO, Aggie, Joe, and Pop proud? And also do they know how much I love them? 

9. How are Estella and Heidi? Do they know how much they meant to me and how much they have changed my life. (Wow thought I could make it through this without crying and I can't). 

10. What do you really think about tattoos? 

11. Do you hurt when your children hurt each other and do you cry with us when we cry? 

And finally because well these are my questions......

12. What is your feeling on Star Wars? Which is the best and honestly do you dislike Jar Jar as much as I do? 

Of course I have so many more. And as you can tell, I have all sorts of questions. But I think Jesus would be okay with it. And I think it would be one of the best discussions I have ever had. Because think about it, and no I am not talking about getting Jesus drunk, but I am thinking a little crazy. When you drink do you not get more open with what you say and how you say it. Truth becomes an automatic thing when alcohol gets involved. So what if the same is true for Jesus, what if after a few beers there is no holding back? How much would you want to know then? 

I can say I have gotten many praises for having this song on my CD, and I have yet to hear something bad. But I feel like it is time for me to explain why it meant so much to me. 

So here is what I dare you to do tonight! Write down what you would ask Jesus, truly think about it. Ask yourself, if I was drinking a beer and sitting in front of him what would I say, how would I act. And you can tell me if you want, you don't have too. Although I would love hearing what others would want to ask! 

I will post a longer blog tomorrow but tonight I am exhausted and still trying to get better so this is all I am capable of tonight. 

God's Peace to all!!! 

Christian Anonymous

So, if yall haven't figured it out yet....I am a nursing student. And currently I am working on my Psych rotation for clinical. For this rotation though we are told to go to at least 3 of a Anonymous meeting; so AA, or Al-non, Narcotics Anonymous any of them. So last night I went to my first AA/NA meeting ever. As I sat there before the meeting I slowly grew more and more anxious. I mean think about it, I wasn't supposed to be there, I was an outsider into their little community. I didn't have a "problem" and honestly I just felt uncomfortable. That is until the meeting started and I slowly grew to realize three things about this community of men and women.

1) They, like the Church body, are made up of all kinds of people. They show what it is meant to be different but the same in Christ. And not only are they all kinds of people, they each know how to get the whole body to work. Do we as Christians not believe that we make up one body of Christ, and without a working piece of the body the whole of the body itself  can not work as well as it could if the whole body worked to it's best. These people know what there roles in the group are and they welcome those roles greatly. For example, one of the men knew that he was to refil the coffee when it was empty, so everytime it was empty he got up to refil it (and trust me that is a big job for these people.....I think they would agree that coffee needs to be a sacrament as well)

2) They are a wonderful shinning example of what it means to support those around us. These people know where they have all come from, and they support each other in their journeys to being sober. They pick each other up when they stumble, they walk together when someone is scared to go in alone. Isn't that what we as Christians need to do. We act like if we don't go ahead of the group, nothing will be given to us. But that isn't the truth; may the first be last and the last be first. I know that I would much rather get to the finish line last knowing that many of my fellow Christians got there too because I was helping them up and dusting them off. It isn't a race, it is a journey, take the time and enjoy the journey together. That is what these people do for each other, these men and women that have struggled with addiction I believe have a better handle on what it means to be a Christian then a lot of us in the "real world" do.

3) They welcome new people better then some churches do. So what do I mean about that. As I was sitting there last night, I was with a friend, sitting in the back row of this meeting. When I kept having a guy star at me. Now I will be honest at first it kinda scared me. But shortly after he came and sat in front of us, he looked back and asked if we could see okay. He then continued to look back and check on us throughout the meeting. He without saying a word to us, made us feel comfortable with our surroundings. His smile and caring manner made the uncomfortable situation I was in so much better. I feel like we need to do that. We need to smile and sometimes not say a word. Now I am not saying b cheerful greeters on Sunday morning. I am saying that once the service starts don't stop being that caring and understanding. You never know, you might be the first time that person has seen Jesus.

So AA/NA taught me more then just how to be a good listener and learning what these people go through. It taught me that these people are so much stronger then most of us would give them credit for. Some of them have a stronger sense of Faith then I could ever imagine. These people have seen and felt God in their lives, I feel like they have given me a gift that is bigger then life. It is a new sense of life and understanding. They showed me that my judgement should never get in the way of learning something new and I thank God for that.

So I dare you, where can you find God today? What nervous situation are you in that you may just see what God has to offer to you? Let me know where you find God today.